Police Investigating Explicit Street Signs

_{Published November 21, 2024}

BOULDER, CO — Boulder police are investigating after four signs with explicit messages were found affixed to speed limit signs around the city on Tuesday.

“It’s disgusting,” said Boulder police chief Moore Al Highground, while looking at porn on his phone.

"Imagine if my son had seen that fucking sign, and what a bad influence that would have been on him,” Highground said while standing next to his son, who was also looking at porn on his phone. “He may have thought humor, art, and color was okay in an otherwise mundane activity.”

“I’m thankful that our children have people in charge who will shield them from passionate language used to make important points, the site of a bare breast in a non-sexual capacity shared on social media or TV, and people having the right to choose what they do with their bodies,” Highground scoffed over the noise of pornography film Fuck Me Faster 9 playing through his son’s phone.

The Boulder Police Department told FOX31 that as of Tuesday evening, the city’s Transportation and Mobility Department was in the process of removing the four signs identified.

Thank fucking god.

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